 |
 |
|
Read an Excerpt from the Book
|
|
Introduction
|
|
|
Excerpt from the chapter I WANT A MAN THAT HAS....
You have been running all week long,
going here and there for work, school, family, and church, and you are on empty. Each night, when you finally finish running,
you lie down. You are extremely exhausted both physically and mentally. All you want to do is pull the covers over your head
and fall asleep. There is your bible over there on the dresser. You feel the tug in your Spirit to pick it up, but you are
too tired. You know deep down you should be reading the Word, but "not tonight" is what you say. Finally, you lie
down and drift off the sleep.
What if the bible were you? And he (your husband) comes in from a long, stressful day,
and there you are waiting for some quality time. He sees you there with your lingerie on but he is just too exhausted to give
you some time. He drifts off to sleep. If that happened only one night, you might be able to get over it but if it happens
more often, how would you feel? In fact, some of you who are reading this can attest that this scenario has actually happened
to you at one time or another. Honestly, you did not feel love and you most certainly did not feel the devotion. But, we do
this very thing to God so often without the least bit of remorse or guilt. It becomes easier and easier to be caught up in
your business and forget about reading His Word and letting Him speak to you.
Do you realize that reading His Word is
how He communicates with you? And if you are not reading His personal love letters then how will you know Him and His will
for your life? Would you disregard love letters from your significant other? Of course not, especially since most men do not
write those intimate letters like women do. So if The Man has written me love letters, you had better believe I am going to
read them in their entirety as much and as often as I can. Consider this when you get in bed without reading His Word. Will
you allow Him to share with you His most intimate thoughts, designs, and plans for your life or will you shut Him out again?
Then there is the commitment and trust that we want in our relationship. We want a man who we know will never cheat
on us. We as women may know all too well the hurt and the pain that derives from infidelity. If you have ever experienced
any form of unfaithfulness, then you know fully what I am referencing. These acts lead to betrayal and mistrust. It is absolutely
difficult, but not impossible, to trust again. Oftentimes one act of disloyalty can lead to years of pain for all involved.
The "other" woman is caught in the middle with her feelings. And although she did wrong, she had her own personal
issues with all of this. No one thinks about how she really feels. I know it is easier to be mad and upset at the "other"
woman, but consider how she may feel in the midst of this. Then there is the man, who although he has done wrong, never meant
to hurt anyone in the process. He probably has other reasons besides physical that lead to the affair. Most men do not just
decide to have an affair for the sake of it; the affair is a result of areas within their relationship that has gone unmet
and disregarded. He may feel he has some needs that he weren't met. That can be physical but it can also be emotional.
Then there is the wife. Her emotions run the gamut and go between two extremes. The wife may question why the husband had
to break the bonds of marriage. The wife may wonder what she did to cause this affair. Then just as soon as that thought comes,
she may turn those questions into a backlash of angry comments and feelings. She may go from minutes of crying to minutes
of screaming. Then she may wonder what the "other woman" has that she does not have. Quite honestly, most times,
it has nothing to do with what physical attributes, such as shape, hair, and beauty, but it probably deals with more of an
emotional nature. The marriage can recover but it is a long, tedious road and it does not happen overnight.
So although
you have a long list of how you want your man to be, God has some requirements of us: His bride to be. He desires us to love
Him with our entire being. And in loving Him that way, you will serve Him and Him only. You will keep His commandments, and
you will strive to please Him daily. When you are going over your list of wants and desires, remember that God has His list
too.
|
|
|
|
Oftentimes we as women have certain beliefs, desires, and fantasies regarding our Knights in Shining Armor. Little girls
grow up with images of how our marriage should be. We grow up playing house and playing with dolls and dollhouses and we imitate
the perfect relationships between the husband and wife. Sadly, I believe we hold on to those images even into adulthood. No
matter how many bad relationships we have experienced over time, no matter how many men have done us wrong, in the back of
our minds, we hold on to those images to some degree; images of dolls, dollhouses and the perfect marriage. We may never admit
it to anyone, but truthfully, anyone that has ever been married can internally admit that those fantasies really do not exist
in marriage. Although your marriage may be a good marriage, it is still not the Cinderella marriage of our childhood. Maybe
you cannot pinpoint the day and time that the reality set in and the fantasy moved out, but you can remember that reality
did not at all mimic your images of a marriage. Now, that is not to say that marriage is bad or horrible. In fact, it is wonderful.
The institution of marriage and the covenant of marriage is a wonderful and fulfilling establishment. As God has ordained
it and considers it honorable, then so it is.
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators
and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV).
Having someone to share with you the joys and sorrows of life, having
a companion to be your support when you have little to no strength to go on, To have someone with whom you can trust your
innermost secrets, to have someone who can love you even when all the make-up is off (and the hair is not intact), when your
feet are swollen and you have gained 50 pounds while you are with child, when it's three in the morning and your breath
is not minty fresh, for someone to be able to look at you and without saying a word know exactly what you are thinking, to
have someone to know when you have reached your limit and come in to say to anyone who is trying to push you over the edge
that enough is enough, is what marriage is about. I am sure, however, there are those out there who will agree that their
marriage was or is not like that at all. The marriage that you know of where there is no support from the other, in which
you must consistently monitor what is happening because if you don't the man you had or are married to will have you in
a mess. Or you may be in the type of marriage in which there is no peace in the home; he is out every night with the guys
or the girls-you never really know. Or he may be the spouse who detests the 50 pounds you have gained carrying the child he
wanted, or the one who has unreal expectations of who you should be and has images of celebrities in his mind and thinks you
should look like that. Maybe he doesn't do a good job in protecting you and you feel the brunt of other's ridicule
but he still wants you to be able to look up to him. Maybe you have someone who won't keep a real job and you are the
breadwinner and the stronger entity in the marriage but he still has the nerve to tell you to submit to him.
You may
find yourself between either extreme of these marriages but you know that you want better. If you are divorced and desire
a better marriage than before, or if you are single, looking to be married, or if you are in a marriage hoping and praying
for better, or even if your marriage is doing great but you are always looking for techniques to take it to the next level,
then read on. God is ready to speak to you and your situation. And when He speaks, situations must change! My prayer is that
the Holy Spirit will breathe inspiration and revelation within you while it illuminates areas that have not been revealed
to you, but will bless you tremendously when you walk into the light. God is ready to take you on this journey as He has taken
me. Are you ready for change? Then sit down, fasten your seatbelt, and tighten your weaves ladies, let's get ready to
ride!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
